|
I drew it in study hall last year when I was bored.. Obviously it was inspired from the Art Of Drowning cd.
And I drew some pics of Johnny the Homocidal Maniac characters..
Now here is some of my depressing dark poetry I've written over the years..
WARNING: you may feel the urge to cut yourself or cry.
haha..imma loser
a song I wrote called Bloody Tears:
ack..i really hate this but i figured I'd leave it up here anyway so you can all see how i've progressed..at least i
hope i have! :-p
Late at night, I hide in the dark.
Running from shadows that I'll never know.
Late at
night, hiding in darkness.
I wish they would all just leave me alone.
The hate in me is coming out.
I scream and
scream but no one hears me shout.
What is this hate?
I do not know.
Hiding in the darkness, restrained I can not
go.
Running and screaming but I can not escape this fear.
It's taken hold of my soul and leaves no bloody tear.
The
stains of blood as they fall from my wrist,
Always consumed by the hatred and bliss.
So you'll leave me alone, this
is my life.
Bloody tears in the darkness holding a knife.
Late at night, I hide in the dark.
Running from shadows
that I'll never know.
Late at night, hiding in darkness.
I wish they would all just leave me alone.
Lieing here,
waiting for death.
Lost in this world 'till I'm out of breath.
As I wait for you to take me away,
You are the
only one to save me.
Come save me now, before I'm gone for ever.
You told me you loved me, but we can never be together.
You left me alone in this destruction and pain.
I've tried to hold on, but now I have been slain.
Late at night,
I hide in the dark.
Running from shadows that I'll never know.
Late at night, hiding in darkness.
I wish they
would all just leave me alone.
Choking here, on my tears.
The pain and suffering, still it leers.
Now I'll lay
me down so that all can see.
The breath that has been taken away from me, away from me, away from me..
(whispered)
This is the end of me
This is a poem I wrote for school called Memory:
I can remember falling far from the light,
When my blinded
eyes had new sight.
Getting caught up in the tangles and vines.
Ghost of my Memory, held in my mind.
I can remember
those hopeless days,
Alone in the blackness, a single dark flame.
When the only comfort was to add more pain,
When
all my strength and dreams had been slain.
I can remember running from shame,
From all of the voices calling
my name.
Drowning in fear of life but not death,
Feelings that follow until my last breath.
Failing the search
to find my role,
These memories seem to shadow my soul.
Um..this was a poem I wrote dedicated to Criss Angel. I know it kinda sucks though, but it's the effort that counts, right?
Anyway, it's called Angel of Illusion:
Look what has happened.
Look at me now.
My mind is lost,
In this life that I am bound.
I can't hear, I can't feel, I can't breath.
Everything's turned against me,
My existence has been slain.
They turn their backs and look away,
All I can feel is the cold and the pain.
The fire inside of my soul has gone out,
And all that's left is this blackened scar.
No one can hear me, but I scream and shout.
But you listen, and look deep into my eyes.
They tear through my soul to see what's inside.
You ask what I see.
While others are blinded by hate and deceit,
I see the hope, and feel your warmth.
You hold me in your arms and I never want to leave.
Staying here in with you comfort I can finally breath.
You've given back my life, and shown me the light.
You've given back my fire, and taken away my fright.
I feel no more pain and sadness, from everything you give.
All of the happiness, love, and the will to live.
All of the strength, inspiration, and truth when my thoughts were blind.
My Angel of Illusion, always living eternally in my heart and mind.
This was another poem I wrote while I was in study hall..it's called Fantasy:
I feel so hollow inside.
I can not keep living up to these lies.
I don't want to wake up,
So do not embrace me.
I'm stuck inside this dream of a perfect world in which I never want to leave.
The world is consumed by dark beauty,
And all of existence understands.
No one is shunned for their differences,
And the suns always set beneath glowing sands.
Why must my soul tear, and once again subside in this horrid nightmare?
Where the rain whispers a song of sorrow as it falls to the ground.
Always living this eternally I am bound.
With false light so imperfect it burns my eyes.
Always concealing the hatred and lies.
So do not embrace me.
I wish to slip back into my dream.
Enraptured in pure light within the darkness,
No fallen rose goes unseen.
Nameless One
Living in this world day in and day out,
The voices all around me, but none will keep out.
I tried to stop, flowing
of the blood.
But the sickness won't leave until its done.
Whats the point of keeping away,
When the torment and
pain come every single day.
Even the tears won't sooth my soul,
It always comes back to take control.
Fuck this life
and fuck this world,
Lieing on the floor crying, unfurled.
It's always better taking the easy way out,
Cut away the
hate, hurt beyond any doubt.
To leave a scar, secrets of shame.
Seeing my reflection of what I've became.
The look
in my eyes is empty, worn out,
While inside eternally, I scream and shout.
So many things tear another hole.
Till
all thats left is a hollow soul.
But no one hears me, no one cares.
Just another nameless girl with rips and tears.
Monster
there are times when things get tough
and my flesh gets shaky and numb
realization of the monster
the one that
must be fed
when the overwhelming urge
gets more and more intense
with every deadly thought
to sink the icy metal
beneath
my palid skin
and watch the crimson liquid
spill downward like a stream
and hear the still and quiet
like a hushed
winters night
and feel the stinging steel
that welcomes pleasure unto pain
while my heart rases faster
each breath
gets harder to take
letting out a gasp of rapture
as the world becomes so calm
then it's placed back in it's case
until
it's beckoned for once more
always to leave another barcode
that reads shameful and despair
the ceaseless cycle goes
on
and the monster demands more
until in my mind and body
there is nothing left to feed it
"I Hate Sluts" (I couldn't think of a good name..so I made up a stupid one)
Use me up for all I've got
Thrown away like trash
Because everything we had
I knew could never last
The pain you make me feel
With every kiss we share
Rips me up inside
Fills me with despair
And I know you'd never notice
I know you'd never care
That inside I am dieing
With every single tear
But with my mouth sewn shut
Never would I dare
Let you know my secret
How much I really care
My love's a beautiful thing
Wasted on your lies
My heart's forever broken
By you and your kind
Though blood will dry and vanish
Plastic smile easy to see
The cuts may fade and heal
But the scars will never leave me
Bloody Kiss
The words cut in and sting so bad
I wish it were a different pain
The kind of pain I long for
Is that which keeps me sane
I hear all that they're saying
Though I know I shouldn't care
But it hurts more than it should
When truth comes from their icy stare
And as I hold you in my hand
I pause and wonder why
I chose to ever befriend you
The one that made me die
Before you came into my life
There was happy, joyful bliss
But you took it all away
With a single bloody kiss
And with this thought I realize
You never halped me live
You blind all my emotions
You take more than you give
So now dear friend I'll leave you
To play your destined role
I'll let you help me one last time
To finish off my soul.
Hear Me
Why won't you listen?
I'm screaming out your name.
Begging and pleading,
Take away the pain.
I just want
to live,
I want to be free.
I thought you might notice,
But still you won't see.
Scars on my body, as well as
my soul
Sharpened blades, losing control
Yet still I am hurting, ten thousand more times
Than what I show:
Pale
flesh with red lines.
I know you couldn't try to conceive,
How hard it is, just to breathe.
But I'm asking, I'm begging
you
Don't make it worse.
Life is already too hard,
For me it's a curse.
The Urge
Should I do it? Should I not?
The chance is great of getting caught
Just how powerful is my will?
Monthes of strength, or one cheap thrill
Keeping together for so long
Or will this be my final song
I can resist it, at least I hope
I'll just ignore it, try to cope
Every second's getting longer
The urge won't stop, it's getting stronger
I can do it, I'll keep trying
But in my mind, my soul is dieing
My heart still punding in my head
God, I wish that I were dead
Maybe just a little slice...
Later I will pay the price
I could cover up and hide it
Try me, I will just deny it
Feel it pulsing in my veins
Begging to bleed out the pain
Peice of metal bites down hard
Streams of life flow down my arm
A rush of rapture seeps to my core
As my lifeless body falls to the floor
I guess my will just couldn't take it
Will the urge overcome you, or can you forsake it?
Behind Locked Doors
Tears stream down and sting my eyes
'Cause I'm tired of all the pain and lies
Therepy doesn't help at all
And no one's there to break my fall
Voices screaming out my name
But in the end they're all to blame
My body's exhausted as well as my mind
Blades and booze are all I can find
Temporary relief just to stay sane
Blood and teardrops fall like rain
Every day takes all my strength
And still for you I'd go any length
Just so I could see you smile
All my suffering seems worthwhile
'Cause I love you more than you'll ever know
I wish that I could help you so
Your life could be like you always wanted
But your demons chase you, forever haunted
I wish that we could both be free
But I know that can never be
I wish I could tell all the sorrow I hold
But I keep it in, for you I'll be bold
'Cause I know if I told you it'd hurt you more
So I'll keep it hidden behind locked doors.
Three Little Words
Overused, these three little words
How can I use them to express
What I've been feeling since the beginning
A word is just that
A group of letters strung together
Nothing more, nothing less
So what can I say
When you look into my eyes
Or when you hold my hand
And I get butterflies just thinking of you
If a picture is worth a thousand words
Then this can't be just three
A million words couldn't tell you
How I dream about us every night
Intertwined, bound by more than an emotion
You see, you and I
We're in this together
We're connected at a deeper level
Apart we're only half of what we could be
Soulmates, they call us
But that's just another word
Not nearly enough to describe
What we really are
They can never give it a name
To how you make me feel inside
When you wrap your arms around me
Or whisper in my ear
The way you make me feel
Like everything is okay
So what is left to say?
The only thing I can
"I love you"
I just wrote this. It doesn't have a name yet
Cracked and broken, she lies there unconscious to the rest of the world
Tears drip down her cheeks but no one notices the body spread out on the floor
A poor black rose, wilting in the sunlight, unable to take in any of the heat
Cold, dark, a skeleton of savage remorse
Running, shrieking, without making move or sound
Years go by and still no one notices the heap of garbage piled up in the corner
Crushed and crumbled under its own dead weight
They walk by and sometimes give it a glance of pity
Only later to beat and bruise the helpless flesh who can’t defend itself
So she does nothing but lie and wait for something to change
Eternally hopeful that life will come and fill her lungs once more
When she can grasp just one breath that will sustain her for another day
Will save her from the empty corpse that she has become
Waiting for her heart to beat once more and her eyes to sparkle with indulgence
If only she could get off of the ground, out from under their feet
But they force her down, cripple her over and over
Keeping her in pieces that can’t seem to fit back together
So she endures the pain they inflict on her
So that some day she can feel whole again
|
